My last few blog posts have been about getting clear on your “why.” Not just setting mechanical money goals (“save 5% of my salary,” or “pay off my credit cards”), but instead identifying your bigger life goals, first (“Find my person” or “start my own business”). These are the things you aspire to, that give you an emotional surge when you think about them. And then using money goals as a tool for reaching those life goals.
But here’s the real question: HOW do you do that? How do you decide what you really want from the zillions of potential goals you could aspire to?
Why goals feel so daunting
The tricky thing about goals is, they’re about the future. And the future is uncertain, and our brains don’t like uncertainty. It feels too big to put life goals on a piece of paper.
Not to mention, there are probably a lot of ‘shoulds’ mixed in. Things you think you ought to do because of your family’s opinions, or what your friends are doing, or what you see on social media.
And then there are the questions swirling in your head – should I be farther along by now? What if I choose the wrong path? How could I ever accomplish that?
So you do one of two things: you think too small – which probably isn’t very motivating – or worse: you try to do it all at once. Life goals. Money goals. Career goals. Relationship goals.
When everything lives in your head at the same time, your brain can’t prioritize. So it shuts down.
A different approach: make the process smaller and safer
Sometimes, your brain needs a little boost. If I were to ask you, “tell me – what are your top 3 goals in life?” your brain spins (omg, these better be good – what does she want to hear? What do other people say? Why does everyone else know what they want?) and then it freezes. You spit out some random, common goals you hear all the time. Uh – save for retirement. Pay off my credit cards. Travel?
But what if I said, “Based on reams of research with people about your age, here are six life goals that most people say are important. Some of them will resonate for you, others will not. It’s a starting point, and it may feel reassuring to know you’re not missing something when I ask about your top goals.”
Does that feel a little easier? Start with the most commonly-stated goals, then decide if you share some of them – or if it spurs completely different ideas.
Same thing when it comes to setting money goals: “Based on nationwide research with people aged 25-40, here are the top 13 money goals that emerge. Which of these are important to you right now? Does anything else come to mind?”
This is why I created Money Nudges Discovery Cards.
Yes, I’m saying ‘play with a deck of cards.’
Instead of pulling goals out of thin air, these Discovery Cards are a cheat sheet: They reveal what everyone else at your stage of life says is important to them. Are there one or two that are important to you?
There are two sets:
- Green cards for life goals (like career happiness, wellness, relationships)
- Purple cards for money goals (like growing income, paying down debt, saving)
The process is simple:
- Choose 1–2 life goals that matter most right now
Example: Career happiness and financial independence
- Choose 2–3 money goals that support those life goals
Examples: Grow my income; pursue my education; spend intentionally; organize my financial life
- Move the cards around on a table and prioritize them. If you could only do one thing, what would it be? What’s second? Third?
Why the cards actually work
They work because they match how our brains make decisions.
- Limiting choices reduces how overwhelmed you feel
- Physical cards help you process priorities and trade-offs
- Starting with life goals creates an emotional connection and increases follow-through on money goals
People don’t freeze because they lack willpower. They freeze because the choices feel abstract and distant. Discovery Cards make those choices visible, concrete, and emotional.
Turning clarity into action
Once you’ve chosen your cards, the next step is gentle, not intense.
Define each goal in your own words, connecting it to two things:
- How do you want to feel? (Confident, relieved, in control…)
- What would actually be different in your day-to-day life if you were to reach it? (No more cringing when my credit card statement arrives…)
The bottom line
If you’ve struggled to set goals, you’re not alone. It’s a sign the process needs to be simpler. Fewer goals. Clearer connections. No perfect plan, just one small nudge at a time.
How did the cards work for you? I’d love to hear your comments and feedback.